Nostalgia

Here is a short (and quickly written) essay I wrote for my Americorps application about India:

Every afternoon, sixteen-year-old Salim came home from school, through the doors of the Nav Jagriti or “New Hope” orphanage and shook my hand. He asked me: “You are feeling?” to which I said, “Good, very good, thank you. How are you feeling?” Salim smiled and struggled to respond to my reply in English, sometimes answering, “I am no feeling”, “Iamfine, thank you” or "Hungry. Ten minutes, food." He then proceeded to change out of his school clothes and help me in any way he could with the activities of the day after, of course, completing his homework.

I arrived at the center in September of 2009, a college graduate from suburban Missouri; a sterile but privileged place where I could eat, sleep, study and play at my leisure. Salim, like many of the orphans, arrived a couple of years ago at the center after barely managing to survive on the railway platform, where he had landed since fleeing a violent home. His painful background, however, never managed to wipe the radiant smile from his face. Salim was just one of the extremely inspirational children I had the amazing opportunity to interact with, mentor and teach at Nav Jagriti, a day care, orphanage and informal education center in a primarily Muslim slum in New Delhi, India. My main duties included teaching children (aged newborn to seventeen) English, mathematics and life skills as well as mentoring, caring for, and unconditionally loving the fifty or so children that entered the doors everyday. Although a language barrier existed between us, the orphans, slum children and I nurtured a bond that was introduced and developed in the short two-month period.

There was Guddu, an artistic and funny adolescent. Together we created an expressive space in the afternoons, engaging each other as well as other children in various forms of artistic expression habitually over two months, mimicking the kind of expressive based counseling I wish to practice in the future. There was Alisha, a shy and initially expressionless toddler who managed to find my lap in a matter of seconds and spend the entire afternoon plopped down in it. After a week, I found her smile (and mine), elicited by several sessions of patty cake.

I captured a manual photograph portrait of all of the children, to remember that every child had a significant and unique impact on me, perhaps much stronger than my impact on them. Looking back on the photos I have realized the bulk of their impact: to be grateful for every smile in my direction, piece of food on my plate, shelter over my head. More importantly, the children provided me with the greatest lesson of all: they illustrate how to walk through life with a positive attitude and spend my days serving others, no matter my personal circumstances.

Erin

Photography

I've been uploading, editing and publishing my photos like mad

here

here

and

here. <--- my new portfolio!

I got published in VALEUR (a German magazine), and am not getting paid, but get a 1/3 profile with my photo in the back and a paragraph about my photographs. Gotta take it anyway.

Here's a sample, but PLEASE take a look at my sites. Contact me (erinleeisalive@gmail.com) if you know of any cafe's who might be interested in putting up a show.

and my henna is almost 100% faded.

Namaste Bye, India.

E

Prayer

Henna

Just wanted to show you the amazing Henna I received before leaving India. 1.5 weeks later, it's still going strong.

Only 100 Rs. ($2.25) and took 20 minutes!

Erin Lee (is alive)

Photography

I will be my manual uploading photos that I feel are show-worthy here

I only have about 1/4 of my film developed, so keep checking back.

For all my photos, show-worthy, digital, or not, I will eventually be putting on Picassa or Facebook. I'll keep you updated.

Erin

Reflections

I didn't want to mention this before I left India because I was afraid I would jynx it, but:

I survived India! Here's how:

• I never had digestive problems (unlike 95% of the other volunteers).
• I was never molested.
• I never got hit by a vehicle (at least one other volunteer got hit by a motorbike).
• I never got anything stolen (lets see: Kristen got her purse slashed, Alex got her camera stolen out of her hand, Annelie got her entire purse swiped on a train, Helen got Rs 2000 stolen out of her bag at her NGO).

But I took some major risks, including:

• Skipping my Malaria pills for weeks at a time.
• Going in the Ganges river.
• Going on an Indian Ferris Wheel
• Being in Old Delhi at night.
• Eating street food once or twice.
• Sipping local water once.
• Trekking without a guide.
• Sleeping in the dead cold of the Himalayas with snow leopards nearby.

but I admit:

• I did get bit by a dog on a railway platform (it didn't break the skin).
• I almost got head-butted by a cow (in the behind) in Pushkar.
• My purse got pulled away from me once or twice (but was around my body, so actually never got taken).
• I got two colds.
• I got ripped off more than three or four times.
• I had to jump out of the way of a cycle rickshaw more than 4 or 5 times.

Erindia

Laxmi and Karan

I am back in America, but I'm going to continue with some stories as I remember them. This one is especially significant to me- the story of the young couple (and baby!) who works on staff:

Laxmi and Karan

Karan was abandoned at the Nizamuddin railway station (the station we are dropped off at everyday for work) when he was 3 or 4 years old. From that age on, he lived at the station doing whatever he could to survive. I;m not sure about the events that occured in this time exactly, but when he reached his early twenties, he met Dalia and Yogen who were the main coordinators for Nav Jagriti at its earliest stage, which was doing street children outreach on the actual railway platform. Soon after this time, he noticed a young girl who he identified immediately as a runaway. It was Laxmi, who was 17 and had fled to Delhi because of the torture she had been recieving from her brother. Although I was not provided with information about the torture, she has some scars on her face that are most likely related. They fell in love (no parents to formally arrange them!) and got married. Because they obviously couldn't afford a traditonal ceremony, they went to a local temple and put garlands on each other to make it official (although it is still not official in India, which may be very problematic for them in the future). Within 3 or 4 months, Laxmi was pregnant with Nayan, who was born in October. They don't enjoy Delhi and plan on moving away when Nayan is a little older. Karan seems to want to move to Allahabad, where he somehow discovered he was born, but Laxmi seemed to be opposed to that idea.

Jess and I went to their house last week. It consists of a 6x6ft concrete room with one twin sized bed. They rigged a small baby carriage to hang with rope above their bed for the baby. We met their six month old kitten Lalu (it means 'of red') who was warm, clean, proporly fed and incredibly loving. We went to the roof and it became immediately apparent how deep in the slums we actually were. Directly outside their single window, 30 or so families, overloaded with children, are set up in a tiny space just outside the local bus station. Worst of all, we spotted Arjun, one of our brightest students, stomping trash in these gigantic bags with his father.

May Laxmi and Karan's small family's life be forever filled with peace, love and happiness.
And when I obtain my own family, may I be reminded of their simplicity and innovativeness.

Erin

One week out!!

Vivek is on top.

I'm leaving India in less than a week- and it's definitely begun to hit me.

I'm going to miss my volunteermates, a lot. I can't imagine my life without them right now. Especially Jess and Peter, my workmates.

Vivek
Vivek is a sweet 10yr old orphan at the center. Well, he was at the center anyway. We almost lost Jitender and I believe that we now we have lost Vivek. Apparently, according to Yogen, he has abandoned his studies/school and has gone to work for the landlord as his servant. For this service, he receives Rs500 a month. That's TEN DOLLARS. Granted, he could buy about 485 pieces of bread for this money...but damn. We don't know what to do. Every time we bring it up to Yogen, he seems to change the subject. I want to intervene- but how? Getting money is the ultimate for kids so low in the social strata- plus we don't know enough Hindi to proper explain how crucial his study is.I'm not sure if the coordinators are planning an intervention, b/c their philosophy seems to be that they will support those who wish to put forth the effort to learn, and he was definitely lacking motivation. He skipped school for days at a time since I've been around. I guess if you could, please cross your fingers or pray that he returns. I already miss him dearly.

Eve-teasers
This is the Indian term that is used to describe some men/boys in India and the uncomfortability you feel as a woman- especially a foreign woman- here. It has been a major problem for many female volunteers, but fortunately I have avoided any sort of serious encounter. In addition to the general "eye-rape" that goes on on a daily basis, some volunteers have been actually followed, physically approached, molested. One volunteer was in the bathroom when a man opened the door on her and approached her- she managed to elbow her way out before being physically violated any further. Another volunteer was stalked from a park to a coffee shop over 10 minutes walk away. She saw a police car, discussed it with them and they chased the man away. Another volunteer was sitting next to a rickshaw driver in the front seat (rare, but was doing so because the back was full- we had more than the max. amount of people allowed in.) and he touched her under her dress. On the night-tour a volunteer was grabbed on her bottom more than once. On the local buses, they are packed so tightly that you are sometimes forced to literally be up against someone fully and volunteers have complained of being violated in this situation (i've never been on a local bus). Anyway, it has unfortunately caused me to be much more apprehensive of people and mistrustful of men, But it has also caused me to be generally more aware of situations happening around me.

And, in accordance with everything else I have experienced, I feel that once you have done India, you can really do anywhere.

Erin

OFF TO PUSHKAR !

A note about pollution

Is it really this late in Oct??? Holy smokes. Speaking of smoke..

I just have to say thank the freaking Hindu god(s) for the clean mountain air. They came at the ultimate time. I haven't mentioned it too much but recently pollution has become a very noticeable and horrifying situation in Delhi. It is unbearable. It is so thick and toxic that my contacts shrivel up within my eye and fall out. I cough up gray something all of the time. When I blow my nose, gray tissues. I constantly wear scarves to use as a shield between my respiratory system and the outside world, but it barely changes anything. You cannot see the trees on the other side of the road. I can't even describe it. Worst of all, I travel in auto rickshaws everyday to work. I walk everywhere possible, but my work is simply unwalkable/uncycleable. I could never ever in a hundred million years live here due to this horrible horrible problem.

Erin

Dharamshala: 4 days without pollution

I am in Daramasala (or Dharamshala)!!

The bus ride was completely insane. I felt like I was in a movie- and not just any movie, but a scary to the death thriller movie from the 70s. Here was the scene. Me and 5 of my volunteer-mates (Peter (NYC), Kristen (NYC), Emily (Vermont), Jess (Australia) and Lynette (Canada)) were packed in the back of this old dirty bus that cost about 6 American dollars one way. In Delhi, on our way out of the city, we braked 3 or 4 times so hard that I almost hit my forehead on the seat in front of me- in the dark. Outside of Delhi, we hit so many potholes, ditches and generally poorly maintained Indian roads that there was a constant bump that intensified once we started going up- and I mean up the freaking Himalayas. In the dark. Turning side to side to side to side. Did I mention it was in the dark? Now, this may sound overly paranoid, (I was on Nyquil..) but I literally thought- no, actually, I KNEW we were going to die. In fact I was 100% convinced it was my last night ever. Luckily, I got a call from Brett and was snapped back to reality (the reality that traveling in India makes you completely invisible...good Karma?). Peter said that while we all were asleep the bus straight up passed another bus WHILE entering a tunnel! Needless to say, 12 hours later (at 530a) we arrived, alive and completely disoriented in Dharamsala and watched the sunrise over the Himalayas.

By the way, it is freaking COLD here. (I am here now in the internet cafe with long sleeves, socks, a scarf and I am shivering). We left Delhi in short sleeves and found that we needed about 3-4 layers, hats, sacrves, whatever woolen items we could get our hands on to function here in Himshal Pradesh.

We took a cab to Mcleod Ganj, which is the busiest town in town (?) and the one closest to the Dalai Lama's residence. Following a rumor from an American who had breakfast with us, we hiked up to a Tibetan day school to hear his holiness speak, only to find out and hour and a half later that he decided to rest instead. So I almost saw the Dalia lama.

After consulting the many trekking companies who wanted to charge us rs 2400 (45 dollars) for a one night, two day trek up the mountain- we decided to go against all the guide book warnings, rent our own equipment and trek the mountain without a guide. How much did this cost us each? Rs 230 (5 American dollars) and a little more weight on our backs.

Now. If you know me at all, you know I was freaking the hell out about 7 westerners (we met up with Skye (Australia) here) trekking up the Himalayan mountains with a crappy map, 7 sleeping bags, 2 4-person tents, enough woolen layers (I bought the most beautiful Tibetan blanket) to combat the bitter cold snow capped mountains, and enough food to survive Saturday lunch and dinner and Sunday breakfast. Of course, they told us there was a restaurant at the top of the mountain, but if there is one thing I have learned about India it is that people tell you what they think you want to hear- not what actually is truthful. So 9am Saturday morning, we tied on our sleeping bags, took turns carrying the tents, and hiked up the Himalayas.

I will say this now and it is with 100% honesty. I have never ever in my life put myself voluntarily through so much pain for that long of a time period. After 30 minutes, I didn't know whether or not to cry, pass out or simply lay down and die. Believe it or not, 5 hours, 6 20-minute stops, 2 Tibetan guys we used as informal guides and 4 stray dogs later, we made it to the mountain top campsite with, get this, a shop with food! Unfotuntely for me, my body had gone into some sort of shock. I knew what I was seeing was beautiful but for whatever reason, I couldnt take it in. My body was so messed up that I couldnt use the bathroom (behind rocks)-my body simply would not allow me to do it although I had been holding it in all day. I could barely speak to anyone, I had a cold (its over 7 days old at this point- I really need to stop hanging out with smokers) and it was COLD. By nightfall though, we (they) set up tents and the shopkeeper made us, 3 Indians, our 2 Tibetan "guides" and 2 middle aged German women a fire. It livened me up a little- so much so that I was able to learn some Bollywood moves from the Indians (remind me to show you the "twist" later). I also got some wicked Ramen- but it was called something else..I forgot.

Around 8 or 9pm we stuffed into our tents and later somehow managed to drift to sleep against two major obstacles: the barking dogs who had made it their extremely loud barking mission to protect us from the snow leopards that linger around the area (for real!) and the bitter bitter cold air. I have never in my life camped in this kind of cold. COLD. 10 hours of sloppy cold sleep later I awoke to the most amazing natural beauty I have ever witnessed in my 23 years of life. My body had come out of shock and although we arrived to the top in pure daylight the day before, I felt like I was seeing something absolutely new- the actual snowcapped Himalayan Mountains. The sun had already risen about 20 minutes prior to my waking up, but it was simply amazing. I took Chai, and fell back asleep to the best nap I have ever taken- which was helped by the now sun-warmed tent.

We took only 3 hours to come down the mountain, but it hurt for other reasons- so much so that since we arrived back in the town, we have been unable to put our shoes back on and stand up on our legs without shaking.

Thats all for now but I can't believe what I have just done. We might head to a hot springs tomorrow, and then back on a death bus to Delhi.

Good old polluted dirty Delhi.
Love love love
Erin

The Village

We (Peter, Jess, Mr. Tapan, his wife Dahlia and I) went to Yogen's house! It was in a beautiful village about an hour out of Delhi. When we arrived, the WHOLE village (it seemed) came out to greet us and it was very intense. Yogen's father and his friends came and had tea, cookies, "curdled milk" sweets(as i call them) and delcious spicy snacks with us. They told us (through our human translator) about seeing Ghandiji and witnessing WW2. Then, after a tour of his seriously beautiful house- full of colorful walls i've only ever imagined, we went up to the rooftop. Literally, families were up on their roof to see us and I almost died laughing when a group of teenage girls blushed and hid/fell when Peter said "hi" to them. I'm pretty sure Peter was blushing too. We took a walk along the road and a family invited us in and sat us down in chairs and offered us yellow ground (BAD FOR FOREIGNER) water. Peter and I sipped it and Jess just pretended to. They were all so kind, so much calmer and defintely much quieter than the people we encounter in Delhi. They didn't grab at our cameras, tug at our clothes or yell in our faces! It was refreshing.

In fact, I decided i am going to stay there for a day or two on my last week in India which means no electricity, indian toilets, and a definite use for a mosquito net.

Erin

Going to see the Dalai Lama! I know you're jealous.

"It's a Volunteercation"

Went on a nightwalk through the homeless area of Old Delhi just outside the largest mosque in India. It was led by an NGO: http://jamghat.in/drupal-6.3/ From the website:

Night Walk: This free, monthly, 4-hour walk aims to sensitize the public to the needs, dangers, and fun of being a street child. We take a group of 25 people out from 8pm-midnight, walking through the streets, visiting shelters, and providing an experiential learning about life on the streets.

It was incredible. It's not that I hadn't already seen the horrible images- 5 year olds sniffing drugs, malnourished bodies lying at your feet, people tugging at your pockets and purses...I have seen them and experienced them since day one. But on this tour, I felt truly spooked and scared for the lives of these children. The men in the tour were asked to walk on the outside of the group- with the women (aka me) on the inside. It was a very unsafe area. Our guides were a beautiful woman who knew perfect English and a 20-something guy who was part of the center and spent his whole life homeless. He took us around, stopping every couple of minutes to point out children begging, sniffing, working or sleeping. Then, he pointed out his very own mom, lying on tattered bedspreads on the ground, looking probably twice her actual age. Children ran up to the woman crying Didi! Didi!, happy to see a safe, familiar face in the disturbing darkness. She spoke about how truly unsafe the area was for young girls and women- in fact, just recently a 5 year old girl was gang raped. She said girls at the center come to her all of the time with rips and tears in their clothes due to someone who had mistreated them in the night. I cried about that- surrounded by the actual young vulnerable girls who she may or may not have been referring to in English. We also saw a lot of young boys sniffing something which could be compared with rubber cement.

Anyway, the center provides informal education (like mine), health checkups, immunizations and apparently sex education so that they may try and defend themselves in the future.

N.J. was closed today because of Diwali, so Jess and I headed over to Jamghat with two volunteers who were placed there last week. It's a great center that tends to very disturbed, very dirty and very ill children. One girl cried for 30 minutes for no apparent reason and a good number of boys had open scabs and sores on their body. Just last week, one boy put his finger in a rickshaw engine and cut off his fingertip- but they had no first aid kit (even though they offer medical treatment there?) to treat it (Helen, a volunteer from the UK later provided one for them). It was a morning well spent offering hugs, playing games and teaching some colors.

So, apparently I only paid for this housing up until Nov 1, even though I didn't plan on leaving until Nov 7. So....I guess I'm booking a hostel for a couple of days in November. Should be another adventure. No worries though- heading to Dharamsala for 4 days and Pushkar for the Camel Fair(!) for 2 days. My last two weeks should be packed with chaos/fun/adventure.

<3 <3 <3
Erin Didi!

P.S. Just for fun, I've been calling my coworkers by their names at our center. Peter is now Peter Baya and Jess is Jess Didi. It gets annoying, though, even for me. But we practically are like siblings- exchanging friendship bracelets, teaching the kids in turns.

"It's chicken. But it's spicy. But it's chicken!"

Diwali!! Whoo!

girls at the center for Diwali... with white powder on their face to make them "fair" which is the ultimate sign of beauty here (it's disgusting how many lotions you can find with bleach in them..)

Diwali at the center was mass chaos. Somehow, 60 or more people managed to cram into the one room center, the ages ranging from 2 weeks old to over 70 years old. The kids were all dressed up and hyped as hell. All the girls wore these frilly westernized day-glo dresses- which I am assuming were provided by the center because they all had the same dress in different colors. All the boys were dressed in stripes which I thought was pretty bizarre and adorable at the same time. Then they [we] danced, sang hindi songs, had tons of sweets, exchanged gifts. We tied day-glo bracelets ( to match the dresses?) we made onto the kids wrists- Peter even bought the teenagers (orphans) Jenga!! Then....

Chicken! Actually an amazing overfilling meal including dal, rice, fresh cut up vegetables, mattar paneer (peas & cheese), orange soda and chicken! But..the chicken was soooo tikka (spicy) that we all, including most of the staff, starting tearing up and having runny noses. This in a center where tissues and toilet paper do not exist. At one point, Jess had a debate with herself about it. "It's chicken. But it's spicy. But it's chicken!" And, of course, she ate it all. And so did we. We ate

sweets to cool our mouths, the kind I liked to call "curdled cheesecake sweet" because of it's taste.

The morning of the celebration, Priya, the house "mom" helped me put on my brand new bright green

Saree. I felt very regal in it and it was actually quite comfortable, although the petticoat, which is

a skirt underneath was tied extremely tight and left a mark. It wasn't too hard to walk in, either, but

I had to use both hands to hold it up when walking up stairs, out of rickshaws, or over mud puddles.

But it survived, and so did I.

The very next night (Saturday) we celebrated Diwali at home. There were 15 volunteers or so, all dressed up for

the occasion, in Sarees, Salwar, Kurta Pajamas. We decorated the house- including creating this amazing mandala

in the atrium on the floor and filling it with colored powder(like the kind in my blog header,

marigold flowers, and candles. Then, we had puja, prayer and we all got red dots on our forehead and

red strings tied on our wrists. Then we sat on the porch as the whole city lit up with fireworks- or "bombs" as they call

them (!). We watched as they prepared chicken biryana in a huge metal tub, which took over 2 hours to prepare,

making our dinner time around 10:15 or 10:30. Then, the fireworks chaos commenced. afterall, the family had

bought over 3 bags worth! They were so loud and pollutant, that wouldnt not jump out of your own skin and you

could barely see across the road. We also had some drinks. It was great to speak to all the volunteers

new & old. New volunteers come every 2 weeks!

in saree, with henna & bindi

making the mandala

other volunteers and i at diwali

I've been practicing henna on myself and some other volunteers. I love it and I'm buying tons to take home.

Making plans to go to Dharmasala (where the Dalai Lama lives!) next weekend. It's going to be cold. Can't wait!

Nam.

Erin

"Erin, why don't you have long, straight hair?"

Tomorrow is Diwali! (Deevahlee)

In preparation, I have bought a saree- which, in retrospect, I feel was overpriced since it has been systematically falling apart behind my back ever since i took it out of the package. But anyway. Its bright green and fades to teal on the edges....(teal!) Also, a member of the staff, who shows up about 60% of the time and who I will now and from now on refer to as "Grandma Didi", drew a henna design on my left palm in marker and I went over it with actual henna. It's super easy and I've decided I'm going to do it from now on for random special occasions at home in the States for the hell of it.. Dalia & Mr. Tapan gave us all presents- 1. a Spider Man (?) coffee mug with Nav Jagriti Collective India stuck on it with that tape that imprints letters and 2. necklaces made of seashells (which are apparently completely random and not symbolic of anything, but cool anyway). Anyway tomorrow (Fri, 16th) is meant to be no work and all play- a day of celebration and......

WE'RE GETTING CHICKEN!!! A note about chicken. Almost every volunteer here is non-vegetarian, and we talk about chicken like kids talk about candy. We never get it- except for the maybe once a week we all go out and eat tons of it. We binge on chicken so that enough we can store enough protein=energy for the rest of the week. We talk about having chicken all the damn time and every once in awhile, someone brings up steak...which is a horrible thing to bring up, considering it is forbidden in India and we wont be seeing the likes of it for awhile.

THEN, Rajiv & his wife are preparing-get this- MORE chicken for Saturday, and a general celebration complete with fancy clothes, lights/decorations and firecrackers. Yay for holidays! It's got me pumped to come back to America just in time for one of the greatest holidays known to man(and woman)kind- THANKSGIVING.

OH, and just in case you were wondering, I have not gotten "New Delhi Belly" {knock on internet cafe desk wood} in the more than one month I've been in India. Although, earlier this week, for about 2 days I had mild to moderate stomach pains whenever I moved- but I remain as one of the only volunteers who has not suffered the dreaded D word {knock on ten million woods}.

Happy Diwali!
Erin Didi

p.s. I have grown particularly close to Jess, who works with me at Nav Jagriti- shes a kick-ass 19 year old from Melbourne Australia: thank god for someone I can hug on a regular basis- it's something I've really needed.

Rabbis in Pajamas

Evelyn, Ezekiel and I on the Beema

In front

The Only Synagogue in Delhi
I looked it up in a Delhi info brochure and there it was! The only synagogue in all of Delhi- Judah Hyam synagogue:

(http://jewishdelhi.org/) From the website: There are only about 10 Jewish families who are long-term residents of the area, composing about 40 people in total. In addition, Judah Hyam Synagogue is the primary place of worship in New Delhi for many Jewish diplomats, businesspeople, artisans and others from around the world who are posted in India's capital city. Erev Shabbat services are held Fridays at 7 pm during the summer and 6:30 pm during the winter. Services are also held on the High Holy Days, Purim, Pesach , Shavouth and Chanukah. There are usually no Shabbat morning service for lack of a minyan.

I called and Ezekiel Isaac Malekar answered. He said to come by anytime and he would show me around. His accent sounded so so Indian so I didn't know what to expect. Of course no rickshaw driver knew where the hell it was (alarukus, I guess), but me and two other volunteers eventually found one driver who found it in no time. The gate was locked so I gave him a call- and he answered saying he just woke up and if we could please wait 5 or 10 minutes, but then came running out in his pajamas. A very short very Jewish white man, he was born in Jerusalem and is the all-in-one: rabbi, director, secretary. He came to India to work as an attorny and now runs the small synagogue. He insisted we all stand on the beema for photos and showed us the three Torahs. Other than it being non-AC and small, nothing about the imagery,decorations, or siddurs were Indian inspired. It reminded me a lot of a small synagogue in Tsafat, Israel. They have 125 chairs for the 125 2-days-a-year jews who show up on the 2 high holidays- but usually have a shabbat service consisting of less than 40. Anyway, he gave us each a blessing while holding his hand on our heads and told us about all the interfaith (American jewish men and hindu women) weddings he's conducted lately. I'm defintely going to return for a Friday night service before heading home. The whole time I was there I was just thinking about how proud Grandma Givarz would be of me for seeking the temple out. Hopefully you are reading this entry right now! :)

By the way, 2 days after writing the entry about Jitender and his sudden dissapearance, he returned to the center. Turns out he just went for a visit to see his family in Varanasi and is back for good. Thank god!

Shalom/Namaste/Salaam (Arabic, as I visited several mosques today)
Erin

hadti deecow! hadti deecow! & challo

all 27 of us at the zoo

25 cent ice cream for everyone

zoo

this had to be one of the top 3 days of my entire life. Jess, Peter & I spent Rs 1000 each (20 dollars) to pay for transportation, admission, lunch and refreshments for 14 slum children, 4 orphans (10-17yrs old) and 9 staff (including ourselves) to go the zoo. We piled all 27 of us into 2 SUV-sized vehicles bursting with sheer excitement and pure indian chaos. Honestly, it was the actual zoo that was the blandest flavor of the day- rather, the children dressed in their best clothes (no tears or rips or dirt to be seen), and spent the day running at full speed, jumping, laughing, fighting to hold your hand/take pictures with your camera/be in the pictures/ get on your back/get on your shoulders or have you spell D-U-C-K, duck! I claimed my two little boys- my partners in crime, Gajanand, an extremely intelligent boy who so understands the language barrier that he feels it is neccessary to mime everything he needs to communicate with me (the other children will go a full 3 or 4 minutes speaking to you in Hindi with no concept of us not being able to understand one word). And Fardeen, an extremely affection young boy who found it neccessary for me to watch in astonishment his ability to chug his entire glass of sprite at once. The best moment of the entire day had to be when my two little partners and I shouted, at full volume, "HADTI DEECOW! HADTI DEECOW!" (SHOW ME ELEPHANT!) and ran to the elephant exhibit, stopped, and all sighed in unison: "aaaah.....haaaadti.." Later we shouted anything we could think of with Deecow following it. Peter Deecow! Panee Deecow! (water) Kana Deecow! (food).

It was a picture perfect day and the word of the day was Challo! (Let's Go!)

Good Eyes

Jitender:

One of the orphans, Jitender, was always busy studying in the back of the center. He wasn't bothered by the loud school children or the silly dance moves in the afternoon. But about 1 and a half weeks ago, we stopped seeing him altogether. I had just figured he had been studying late at school or something. Today I asked Yogen where he had gone, though, and he said that all he knew was that Jitender had mentioned to the other boys that he had gone to meet with his father and that they hadn't seen him since that day. Yogen said it was a very undesirable situation. Apparently, 3 or 4 orphans before him have departed for various reasons.

Salim:

Salim is amazing. He is one of the orphans and is 16 years old, very caring, generous and incredibly smart. Everyday he asks me 2 or 3 times through out the day: "You are feeling?" to which I usually reply "happy" or "hungry" or "tired. and you?" to which he usually replies "Iamfine thanks" or "Hungry. 10 minutes, food." Our days seem to revolve around lunchtime.

Nayan:

On Tuesday the 6th, Laxmi and Karan (the young couple who works at the center) brought in their newborn baby boy. He is incredibly precious and incredibly chota (small). They all dressed up and had identical marks on their forehead. I held the baby right away. Also held that day as the baby naming "ceremony" It is an Indian tradition to name the baby a couple days, weeks, months even years after it is born. Everyone associated with the center attended and cooked an amazing meal including Dal & Rice, spicy hard-boiled eggs, fresh vegetables and apples and potatoes. Then, everyone EXCEPT the parents discussed the name of the child. They wanted to start it with Na, to commemorate the center's name: The Nav Jagriti Collective. They settled on Nayan which means "Good Eyes" which I think is beautiful. Now Laxmi and Karan are back to work for good, which means baby Nayan lies in a blanket in the corner of the back of the center and is attended to when he cries. I try to spend time with him every hour or so.

Baby boy Nayan with the special marks for his naming ceremony

Nayan's chota(small) hand and Guddu's bara (big) hand

Dad(Karan, 24), Mom(Laxmi, 19) and Baby.

Me & the baby!

Finally, i wanted to post a typical day's schedule for me, which is actually decently relaxed:

• 820am: wake up
• 830am: eat breakfast with volunteers
• 1000am: discuss/plan daycare activities for the day with Jess and Peter
• 1030am-330pm: work
• 330-8pm: free time which usually includes writing, reading, internet cafe, shopping, TV time(Friends comes on at 7), talking with other volunteers, planning weekend trips
• 800pm: dinner with volunteers unless we plan to go out ourselves for a non-vegetarian meal
• 900pm: free time- usually spent going out for milkshakes or drinks or socializing
• 1030-12pm: reading/journaling, bedtime

Namaste!

E

Varanasi: It seems that finding yourself is really all about losing yourself many times over.

Back from Varanasi, from the beginning:

The train ride- Sleeper Class Non-AC, was amazing (on the way to Varanasi)!! & it was what I was most fretting about. I had a middle bunk & everytime I woke up we were in a different place- I had about 1/3 of the window and the breeze felt amazing. I couldn't wait to get back on.

The first day, we met Boris, from Belgium. He was over 6'3" and a great person to befriend. He already knew a lot about the city- including where to eat, where to go at night- he also drank the local water. Hardcore.

We spent pretty much the entire trip sitting on the "Ghats" by the Ganges river, just people watching (while people watched us). The 1st day we went to a Hindu ceremony the first night and afterwards, several poor families lines up on the stairs with plates out, begging for food. Boris bought Rs 100 worth of rice and passed it out. We found Baba, a priest, who blessed us with a blood red dot on our forehead and tied red bracelets around our wrists.

The 2nd day, we awoke at 455 for a morning sunrise boat ride on the Ganges. We went to three temples, one named "The Monkey Temple" where we bought Rs 20 worth of random sweets- including a bright orange ball that tasted like donut holes. We came back for a 4 hr siesta and headed back to the ghats. We had lunch at "Spicy Bites", that unfortuentely had run out of falafel and Hummus, it's Israeli specialty. Jess and I headed out to watercolor but by the time we reached a spot, the sun was going down fast. I came up with a somewhat decent boat painting but not before several young girls selling postcards came wishing to draw as well. It was really nice to spend time with the local children, as we were already missing our center.We taught each other hindi/English songs and of course, did the Hokey Pokey 3 times. Then, I got my fortune read, which wasn't fortunate at all.

So, I will be getting married in 2013. I will have 2 boys and 1 girl. I will die very happy, but of a HEART ATTACK at age 55 or 56! I guess we'll see.

On the last day, Jess, Boris and I boarded a boat for the other side of the river. Then.....shhh...we actually got IN the Ganges. It was disgustingly incredible. Yes...I DID read that article in the Lonely Planet describing the lethal toxicity of the river... But I've done crazier things. Plus, what doesn't kill you just makes your stronger, right? Then, we grabbed some pancakes (!) and scrambled eggs (!).

After showering back at the hotel, this seriously mental cycle rickshaw driver took us to literally the furthest ghat away from the one we asked for and we split, walking the river's edge in the worst heat of the day. I trekked the ghats about 45 minutes before hitting an area that you couldn't pass without going through an alley- which, of course, i got way lost within. I found a lot of photogenic goats, children, temples, walls, alleys, monkeys and even radio stations and dubbed Varanasi, India the most photogenic place I ever been in my life. Seriously. I ook over200 digital photos and went through 4 rolls of film. Eventually, i found my way. I quite enjoyed losing myself, although Jess's earphones wouldn't stay in my ears, so I couldn't drown out the following phrases being shouted my way:

"Hallo!" "Shalom, Madam!" "hola!" Want to see my shop?" "Want Hash, miss? Lsd?" "Where you stay" "Where you go" "need a boat, miss?" & so on.

I got lost again, but I got really lost. The signs went from English to Hindi to Arabic. I saw a beautiful mosque and a couple young boys let me take a picture of them. Eevntually, after asking 4 or 5 times, i made my way back and met up with Jess and Boris near the main ghat, but not after meeting an Indian poet who let me read his English poem in progress. We saw the postcard selling girls again and did the Hokey Pokey, but when we got to "You put your head in.." the Varanasi police approached and the girls froze, went pale, ad backed up. The police started shouting in Hindi and two of the girls fled. Muni, the one remaining was being interrogated and the police man smacked her on the back of the head. She grabbed her bag and he smacked her on the back of her head as she ran away crying- leaving her shoes behind. What's the problem? we asked the men, but they just stared at us and turned away. Then, after Boris asked again, one muttered something about stolen cameras. All of our stuff was intact. I miss my postcard friends.

Back in Delhi and the air is cooler. The train ride back was not so peaceful. We are paying to take al the children and staff to the Zoo on Thursday- it should be an adventure.

Namaste
e

Halfway

I'm about halfway through my journey and I wanted to say how grateful I am to everyone who has read my blog, sent emails, sent texts, fb messages, sent packages! It's amazing how I can be on the other side of the world and still manage to feel so incredibly loved and cared for. Thank You. Shukriya.

So, I'm going to go ahead and say I have a favorite child, Alisha. Alisha didn't come for a week and a half- until TODAY!! And actually, today work was soooo wonderful for that reason and others. We introduced a "feelings" lesson and I really loved it. We acted out the emotions and then all the children had to come up and say "I Feel [and point to/say an emotion]" It came out more like "Ayeah feela sud" when they actually didn't feel sad, they just wanted to act out having a temper tantrum. I'll pretend it was therapeutic for all of them. We also traced all the children's hands "hahd" in black marker and then I constructed a tree and used all the brightly decorated hands- some decorated with Henna designs by the older girls, to make a hand tree. Alisha followed me around all afternoon. We played "circle round the garden" and patty cake together. She's probably about 3.

After work, I went to get my salwar (the long shirt I am wearing in the picture) and a dress tailored- all for $2.00- 80 rupees.

Heading to Varanasi

Namaste,

Erin Lee

Holy Walk

It's not just anywhere in their world you go on an evening stroll through the local park & end up with a day-glo orange mark between your eyes, commemorating Lord Vishnu. Jess & I recently met the coordinator of a temple very close by, hidden in GK1 park named prachin Shiv Mandir. He knows English well & took us around the small 100-yr old building and explained all the shrines and symbols. Amazing, considering we saw the temple over 3 weeks ago and still weren't sure if we were allowed to go on (we are. i also took pictures.) Anyway, on my solitary walk last evening, I stopped by and he was there. I asked him about his orange mark- which symbolizes Lord Vishnu, who provides food/sustenance, and he mixed up some paste and gave me a bright orange dot. I took a manual portrait of him kneeling next to a statue of a snake which may or may not symbolize Lord Shiva.

In other news, I bought artwork- a card, from Guddu for Rs 20- which is only 45 cents or so- in retrospect I should of paid more, but thats how much he wanted for it- it's really beautiful and I plan on framing it, Jess also bought one.

I have made plans to travel to Varanasi on Friday- Monday. It's a 13-hr non-AC sleeper train, and I'm feeling very excited and very apprehensive at the same time. It also marks my halfway India mark. crazy! Namaste.

Erin

pictures!

Finally uploaded some pics.

Amazing food at this restaurant called Maya in Agra

Out with volunteers and other foreigners- my new Saud/Irani friends to my right

Karan, a.k.a. staff who yells and hits the kids the most, but is also hilarious

Peter (NYC), Mr. Tapan, who runs the collective, and I at work.

Teaching Rhang- colors with Jess

Yogen (right) having music time with the children at work

Where I sleep.

Other volunteers:

Shivani from Trinidad, Amanda from CA, Katie from Arizona, Jess from Australia, Kathryn from the UK, Skype from Australia, Lu from Mexico & Me!!

all for now. Off to hopefully do some watercolors at a nearby temple.

Hope all is well

Namaste,

Erin

Culture shock India: Catering

It is when, at my placement, the other volunteers and I notice the food for lunch is running very low (we eat the same food as the daycare center children, railway children, staff and orphans- in that order) and suggest to Yogen that the orphans should eat before us, as we could easily find a local restaurant and afford our own lunch. It is when, Yogen, after informing the coordinator, Mr. Tapan of this suggestion, flips out and absolutely insists we sit down and eat and eat literally running the risk of depleting the food provided for the only meal the orphans will eat all day. The orphans insist we sit down and eat. Culture shock- when it is considered absolutely rude and innapropriate to turn away a food offering, even from the hungry orphan serving you, as they do everyday. Don't worry, there entered up being enough for everybody, but considering the circumstances I didn't exactly gorge myself.

This has also been occuring outside of work, when me and some of my new local friends go out to dinner and they insist on piling food on my plate without even asking, forcing me to waste it, as it would be wasted anyway, because this country has no concept of the "doggy bag". I try to control my discomfort with it.

Basically every local (or semi-local) wants to cater to you- your friends, coworkers, the pantless beggar children doing backflips in the middle of rush hour traffic to earn some rupees.


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You know those memoriable "I think I am going to die" moments you have had while merging onto highway traffic, or while driving in a thunderstorm whiteout? I have about 6-7 daily while transporting in this crazy city- whether it's walking, on a motorbike, in a rickshaw or in a car. I've literally just started closing my eyes. In fact, just yesterday I fell asleep in my auto rickshaw. I've seen 3 or 4 minor accidents and no major ones, but theres no exchanging of words and defintly no exchange of insurance information. In fact, one the volunteers got hit by a motorbike while walking, as the bike sped off- all she was left with was a nasty bruise. Last night, the traffic and inability of autos caused me to be 2 hours late to dinner.

To sum up, I'm not fond of being catered to, especially when not asked, and sleeping through traffic seems to be the best idea I can think of for the moment.

Here are some pictures posted by other volunteers!

on the 2nd class train back from Agra- 4 hours that felt more like 8.

At my placement (I'm in the backround holding Alisha)!!
Jess playing the Indian version of Down By the Banks with the older school girls.

Erin

Too much internet

Although I'm in India, I feel like I've been all around the world these last couple of weeks. For ex., I work with an Australian, sleep on the bunk under a lovely girl from Trinidad and hung out this weekend with some Iranians. Every culture has it's own mannerisms, customs, style. I'm learning so much.

I've been slacking with photography. I get shy about it, and it's hard to lug around a manual in this kind fo heat. Hopefully I will head to Varanasi this Friday, though, and get some great shots.

Today my students wished me a happy Eid! We got amazing cookies. Happy Rosh Hoshana!

Erin

pizza hut

It's not that !ndia is actually hotter than an average STL summer. It is that you just can't escape the heat. you wake up hot. you eat breakfast with hot tea and you are hot. you are hot while traveling 60 kph in an auto rickshaw. You're hot while teaching slum children their ABCs as they climb all over you. you drink chai with the staff after work, burn your tongue, and are hot. You feel hot watching Indian music videos on TV after dinner. And you are defintely hot while falling asleep. and while dreaming.

My new friend from Saudi Arabia, Mana, said that during Ramadan in his country, if you are spotted eating you would be fined or even arrested. I can't imagine being in a country such as that. He also has 15 siblings. Today is Eid, the end of Ramadan, so since the majority of my students are Muslim, the center is closed.

Yesterday we went to Pizza Hut (thx for the suggestion, Sathya!) and ate Indian tasting pizza, had lemonade and ice cream in AIR CONDITIONING.

It's funny what you take for granted.

Erin

rough& tough, but bahut chota

So don't get me wrong. I love the "Hope Collective" - the daycare centre were I work, but I had a pretty upsetting moment on Friday. Around lunch time, some of the older "aftr-school" children wanted to come in- but it wasnt their time yet. Karan (staff, 24, married to Laxmi, 19 and 8.5 mths prego) started shouting at them, as he loves to do. Out of nowhere, though, he grabs a child who is eating in the 1st group, Lucy (so sweet, beautiful, shy) by the arm and drags her to the oorway and kind of shoves her against the wall all the while shouting in Hindi at both her and the 2nd group of children. Peter, Jess and I have no idea what the hell is going on because Yogen, who usually translates, isn't there. The 2nd group leaves and Lucy is bawling. I'm upset and when they come back in I am shouting at Karan. "WHy Lucy??" but of course he does not understand. Eventually he sees that I am upset that Lucy is upset, so hetakes her on the back porch nd "apologizes' to her (or so I assume) and hugs her. It is so frustrating because of a. the languag barrier and b. the fac that even if I knew the language there does not seem to be anything I can do. It's all very upsetting.

Also, as the kids begin to familirize with us, tey have become more rambuncious and violent and all we can say is

choop raoo! be quiet!
bus! stop!
gol dierya banao! get in a circle!

but our accents are lacking so they continue on until Yogen raises his voice..he's a true lifesaver.

e

Anti-American Frat Boys

Just a couple of notes about some of the kids:

Orphan: Guddu knows few words in English, but he seems to be really happy, although not at all interested in attending school or studying at home. He paints or makes designs all day. He also sits with the young kids and helps them as well. I do plan on doing more advanced feeling-based art projects with him and need to start making plans for that. He takes to me really well, though and I'm sure he'd be interested in whatever I provided him with or with whatever I asked him to do-so I should really get on that. He lost his leg when he was living on the railway tracks and collecting bottles for money- he didn't get out of the way fast enough, I guess.

Child from the slum: Alisha has really changed vastly since I've arrived. Every day i put her on my lap and try to get her to smile and I've been successful pretty much all week! Also, today she wrote 4 letters by herself, and repeated all of the letters when I asked her to (A BOLO!\SAY A!) which really took me by surprise. I'm going to keep working on that, but now a new challenge- Abdullahaman is a small boy of 3 or so who does nearly nothing himself. Including standing/sitting/speaking/drawing/writing. Although he did make a "D" on his slate today and said "Dog" and "cat" when I asked him to. There is hope! They are pretty young though, so they may just be very shy and still learning Hindi as well.

As far as my social life goes, I've been having a blast spending time with the other volunteers. We found a great place to dance and have some (free) drinks on certain nights, and in general, everyone is realy fun and supportive of one another. I've also met some locals and had a great time speaking with them. Yogen might take me to see a Hindi film this weekend (no subtitles!). I'm very excited.

The food at home has become quite redundant and I find myself losing my appetite regularily. I think I'll probably head out for food about once or twice a week to keep sane about it.

I have a cold, but it's not anything to fuss about. Peter is picking me up some oranges at the market and other girls have given me some vitamins as well.

Yesterday, when walking home from my project in a market with indian music, I thought to myself: "I may never want to leave this place."

Erin

truly, madly, deeply

the best part of my day had to be rocking out to Savage Garden's "Truly,Madly,Deeply" at my project with Yogen and Peter and the orphans. Who would of thought I'd be here doing something of the sort? Crazy. Also, on the way to my project, 15 of my students came runnign full speed up to me in their royal blue school dresses. DIDIDIDIDIDIDIDI!!! DIDI DIDI!!! it was AMAZING! Trains were flying by and I tried my bright red (lal) sunglasses on all the girls and they couldnt stop giggling about it.

I went shopping for some jewelry in the heart of New Delhi and the salesman said I could get free jewelry if I gave him English lessons!

I've spent some more time wandering by myself and it can be quite peaceful, really. if you ignore all the staring.

All for now. Namaste!

erinlee

We will walk on an empty road..

Apart from my skin peeling off my foot for having to spend so much time barefoot, I'm having a great time here. Friday, the monsoon continued on and I felt as if I was probably not going to make it to work. I called Yogen, and he said it should be okay. Tackling the area alone for the second time, I felt 300% more confident and real;ized that the area wasn't actually too bad at all. Yes, people stare and make motions at you and folow you, there is feces and urine ion the streets and the smell is thick and the flies, thicker, and the cattle and goats and horses feed on plastic trash, but it isn't quite the slums and it's pretty standard India.

We made Butterflies, "Teetoolees" on paper and with new markers and cut them out and tapesd them all over the window. So far, certain children stand out. Alisha is a tiny little girl who never smiles, talks or writes/draws a thing. Sadam is a tiny little boy with the sweetest smile. Dubada is a very smart girl with an additude. Vishvash, when asked for his name gives his full name which is about 10 seconds long and the staff always cracks up about it. I'm going to have a field day when I bring in my manual camera. Yogen told me after work that he felt me to be much more entusiastic than the last volunteers (awesome) and that he could tel the kids really took to me. I LOVE the staff. Karan is maybe my faavorite. he is 24 and married to Laxmi, who is 22 and 8-mths pregnant. He knows a total of 5 or 6 words in English and somehow his amazing humor stil seems to peak through. For ex, I often ask him, after practicing with the kids, to tell me words in English. "Hara (green), in english?" i said, and he refused to answer. Shoving his finger in his chest he said, "Me Indian! Hindi only!" to which I said, while shoving my finger in my chest, "Me American! English only!" and we all had a good laugh about it.

After work, Yogen and I headed to the "Habitat Cultural Centre" to hang out. I was escastic as he let me ride on his motorbike on the roads of Delhi, in the rain. It was absolutely exhilirating and absolutely terrifying. Most the women in india ride on the back of the motorbike sideways, because of their Saris, but I straddled because I had pants and sideways felt like suicide. We defintely got a lot of stares. Habitat is really beautiful: natural outdoor places to sit and rest, auditoriums, theatres, art galleries. Yogen and I talked for a couple of hours- I helped him with his English grammar (he is actually quite amazing for starting English in 6th grade!), he imitated some famous bollywood actors, we talked about Indian customs such as slapping children for making mistakes. Yogen said he was slapped so hard he often fell out of his desk as a child. It happens at my projct by the staff and doesn't phase the kids at all. i feel very comfortable around Yogen, and it is great to have a local friend. We checked out a docuentary at a film festival that was going on, and becuase of the rain, it took me 55 minutes in an auto to return home (monsoon traffic).

That night, I headed to an awfully posh bar with some other volunteers that had a live fashion show. The drinks were $20! It was disgusting. But interesting, I suppose. India really is one of the only places where such extreme weath and extreme poverty exist side by side. We went to this other bar, Urban, that was a lot more chill- but still blegh. I did meet a guy from Wash DC who jut spent 7 mths in Israel though. Awesome.

2 hours of sleep later, I boarded a train to Agra with Naomi. We booked 1st class, but, in retrospect, really didn't need to. We sat across from 2 Americans- the husband wrked at the A. Embasy in Delhi. We got corn flakes with boiling milk, french fries ("finger chips") an omelette, black tea, mango juice, cookies and a RED ROSE! It was comfortably disgusting. :)

Agra was beautiful!! We got bombarded by auto drivers at the station, but found Talik, and asked him if he would drive us around all day, to which he agreed, for Rs. 400 ($8)! Our hotel had a rooftop view of the taj mahal ($10 a night!) The TAJ was AMAZING!!!! I took loads of portraits of people there, after asking them, of course. Twice, a group of 10-20 INdian male teenagers surrounded N and I to get a picture. It was crazy.We also saw the baby Taj and Agra fort (where I dropped one of my shoes and didnt find it for 10 minutes). We hit an AMAZING restaraunt named Maya :) and it was the best meal of my life. WE had dinner and some beer on the roof and "proper crashed" (as Naomi, U.K., would say) at 8pm! WE accidently boarded the wrong train back to Delhi and it was defintely a "real" India experience. I spent the 1st 30 minutes with an adorable baby girl on my lap (N got pics!) and after they got off, just avoided eye contact with a lot of older men.

I bought my most precious/expensive item yesterday. I sw this muscian and his younger brother playing drums at this restaurant, and he had made both of their outfits and they had UPSIDE-DOWN HEARTTS SEWN ONTO THEM!!! I half-jokingly asked if I could buy the shirt off his back and he insisted I do (as he had more at home)! It was hilarious. I actually did. For a lot of money, atleast a lot in India ($21). It was amazing. It's more like a dress. Can't wait to show everyone back home.

Love Namaste.

I start Yoga tomorrow morning at 530am.

Erin Didi